There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
