That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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