sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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