Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
