I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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