I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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