I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
