Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
