i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
