i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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