I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
