6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
