you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
