So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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