don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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