so explain again why im purple
no
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
