I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
