so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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