I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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