With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How external is "for external use only"?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
