You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
