She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
