Will you blow on my dice?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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