i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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