bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
