You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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