Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
