Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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