did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
