Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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