I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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