id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
