Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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