Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
