Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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