if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
