I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
