Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
