I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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