and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
