I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
