I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
