My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
