I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
