I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
