we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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