He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my shit smells like andre
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
