you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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