im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
