Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
