wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
