porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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