So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
