Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
