okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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