3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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