Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
