Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
as a side note pls kill me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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