She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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