one might say we're banned from that church
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
