hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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