She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
