She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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