Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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