She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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